{"id":2360,"date":"2014-06-07T22:36:02","date_gmt":"2014-06-08T04:36:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lastbestnews.com\/site\/?p=2360"},"modified":"2014-06-09T19:17:16","modified_gmt":"2014-06-10T01:17:16","slug":"prairie-lights-hail-campign-fliers-and-wedding-cakes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/montana-mint.com\/lastbestnews\/2014\/06\/prairie-lights-hail-campign-fliers-and-wedding-cakes\/","title":{"rendered":"Hail, campaign fliers and wedding cakes"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Ed<\/a>

Ed Kemmick<\/p><\/div>\n

Time to answer some questions from our bulging mail sack.<\/p>\n

Dear Ed<\/strong>: My roof, car and RV were all wrecked by the recent hailstorm, which means I\u2019ve got insurance checks totaling $17,000 coming in soon. Would it be wiser to get everything repaired or simply blow the money? \u2014 Larry “Lockwood” Carson<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Dear LLC<\/strong>: Your job, if you are any kind of American patriot, is to spend that money fast and hard. Getting everything repaired would help a few narrow sectors of the economy, whereas a consumer-spending bender would jump-start numerous economic sectors. It\u2019s sort of like having the Bakken with none of the ill effects.<\/p>\n

Dear Ed<\/strong>: I am a faithful recycler, but I\u2019m not quite sure what to do with a trunkful of glossy fliers that I received in the mail in the months leading up to last week\u2019s primary election. Recycling them seems like the responsible thing to do, but it would be much more satisfying to simply throw them away, knowing they would be buried under tons of smelly garbage at the landfill. What should I do? \u2014 Repulsed Voter<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear RV<\/strong>: I know where you\u2019re coming from. I keep hoping someone will figure out how to turn campaign fliers into kitty litter. In the meantime I guess I would continue recycling them. You can take some consolation in knowing that half the candidates and more than half the \u201cindependent educational groups\u201d that sent you the fliers believe climate change is a hoax, and that recycling is evidence that you are drinking the climate-change Kool-Aid.<\/p>\n

Dear Ed<\/strong>: I think Bulging Mail Sack would be a great name for a band. \u2014 Ryegate Rocker<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear RR<\/strong>: It\u2019s a free country; you can think whatever you want.

\"CapreAir_Variable\"<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/p>\n

Dear Ed<\/strong>: I own a bakery here in town. I am also very uncomfortable around gay people. Or at least I assume I would be if I were around them. No, scratch that. What I mean to say is that I object to the morality of gay people, in that I believe that their morality differs from my morality, church-wise. I think my question is, why should I have to bake them a cake if they get married? \u2014 Not a Bigot, Just a Baker<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear NaBJaB<\/strong>: I couldn\u2019t agree more, which is why I\u2019m working on something I call the full-disclosure ordinance. It would require anyone purchasing any goods or services to sign a document promising that the consumer item or service in question will not be used in any way that could violate the religious sensibilities of the person selling those goods or services. For instance, a devoutly religious electronics store owner should not be compelled to sell a television to a person who is going to watch pornography on that television, and the person buying the TV shouldn\u2019t object to signing a full-disclosure statement. And in your case, of course you shouldn\u2019t have to bake a cake for a gay couple. Nor should you be expected to bake a \u201cbirthday cake\u201d that in reality is going to be consumed at a stag party involving strippers. That\u2019s why we need a full-disclosure ordinance.<\/p>\n

Dear Ed<\/strong>: I noticed that in the recent primary, Sam Rankin took out ads supporting Democratic Senate candidate John Bohlinger that said, \u201cMore wisdom. Less money.\u201d Why would a politician be in favor of less money? \u2014 Confused Constituent<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear CC<\/strong>: I think that was a typo. It should have read, \u201cMore wisdom = less money.\u201d Very wise people understand the value of things like time and leisure, good food and moderate alcohol consumption. In this hard-charging world of ours, people who understand those values usually end up making less money. It\u2019s an unusual campaign slogan, but I\u2019m all for it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Time to answer some questions from our bulging mail sack. Dear Ed: My roof, car and RV were all wrecked by the recent hailstorm, which means I\u2019ve got insurance checks totaling $17,000 coming in soon. Would it be wiser to get everything repaired or simply blow the money? \u2014 Larry “Lockwood” Carson<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2361,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[56],"tags":[787,784,641,785,270,786],"class_list":["post-2360","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-prairie-lights","tag-john-bohlinger","tag-lockwood","tag-non-discrimination-ordinance","tag-recycling","tag-ryegate","tag-sam-rankin","prominence-category-featured"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/montana-mint.com\/lastbestnews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2360","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/montana-mint.com\/lastbestnews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/montana-mint.com\/lastbestnews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/montana-mint.com\/lastbestnews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/montana-mint.com\/lastbestnews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2360"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/montana-mint.com\/lastbestnews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2360\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/montana-mint.com\/lastbestnews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2361"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/montana-mint.com\/lastbestnews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2360"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/montana-mint.com\/lastbestnews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2360"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/montana-mint.com\/lastbestnews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2360"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}