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Published on September 13th, 2016 | by Jasper Moonshot

Jerry Louie-McGee’s Thirty-One Seconds of Magic

During Saturday’s game against the University of Northern Iowa, Griz fans were treated to one of the most exciting special team touchdowns in program history.

Here we cover the blow-by-blow recount of the 81-yard lightning strike gifted to us from All-Hair 1st Teamer, Jerry Louie-McGee…
a.k.a. J.L. Money
a.k.a. JerLouMac
a.k.a. Jerry Jukes
a.k.a. Jerry Touchdown
a.k.a, Jukes Louie-McGee

JerLouMac

so many nicknames!

 

The punt comes at the end of a 3rd-and-out “drive” in which Jesse Sims and Ryan Johnson drop sacks on University of Northern Iowa’s (UNI) Aaron Bailey. After a 3rd & 24, get-me-the-hell-outta-here pass went incomplete, I watched the punt team trot out and thought I wouldn’t be surprised to see some fireworks here.

0:00

UNI punter, #92 Sam Kuhter (pronounced, Cooter, like the, you know…) awaits the snap.

jlm-1

0:04

The snap is good, and the BOOM of Kuhter’s foot against the football is the thunderclap before the J.L. Money lightning show.

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0:06

This punt is mid-flight and hangs for a total of 4-seconds while it travels 46 yards. I found a website with zero verifiable data that indicates Kuhter thumped a below average punt for FCS.

0:08

The ball has landed in Jerry Touchdown’s hands at the UNI 19 yard line. Initiate take off!

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0:10 – 0:11

J.L. Money picks up speed and heads to his right. Shane Moody #25, walls off the fly man. UNI #68 realizes he’s out of position and dives fruitlessly so he won’t get yelled at in film for not trying.
(Panthers Shook: 2)

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0:12 – 0:13

Jukes Louie-McGee runs himself into what most mortals would experience as a triangle of death: flanked on either side by #39 and #8, and #41 straight in front of him. But in a split-second, he changes directions faster than whiffle ball and catches #41 roller skating. Both #41 and #8 dive to the ground as JLM slices out of the triangle. (Panthers Shook: 5)

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0:13

Just as JLM escapes, he encounters #61, listed as a 6-1, 275lb defensive lineman with as much mobility as a landline. Jukes Louie-McGee drops a foot in the turf and blows by while #61 grabs handfuls of air. (Panthers Shook: 6)

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0:14 

With a half-dozen purple panthers in his wake, J.L. Money uses his spider senses to spy UNI #39 flying in from screen left. J.L.M. releases an invisible parachute, decelerates and shouts, “FOR HARAMBE!” while the defender swipes left. Sorry three-nine, J.L. Money will be out of your area soon.

Note, UM’s #57 Shayne Cochran, a Culberton, Montana native, and Me Too Pizza fanatic, runs interference on the punter. That’s a Kuhter Coch-Block! (Panthers Shook: 7)

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0:15

Major Key Alert! Major returns don’t happen without major blocks. Check out Dante Olson, UM’s #33, lay the pancakiest of pancakes on poor UNI senior #4, Charles Brown. Not only did he waste Charlie Brown, but the block trips up #92’s second effort on the play. (Panthers Shook: 9)

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0:16

In the first half of this clip we see Jerry’s shake—and boy can he shake.  But now we see him wheel. From almost a dead stop, J.L. Money goes “♪ Zero to 100 Grizzly, real quick ♪.”

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0:17- 0:19

He’s now at mid-field and there’s an avalanche of bodies on all side of the play. You can tell N. Iowa is in panic mode. Two unidentified UNI players collide trying to dive in the way. UNI #8 is slowed down by the pile-up, and as Jerry Jukes clears the rubble he’s side by side with the only Panther left to save the play. Unfortunately for UNI, he’s s a 6-5, 297lb offensive lineman. Good luck, bud.

(Panthers Shook: 11)

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0:20- 0:23

If those pants weren’t so tight, I’d suspect Jerry “Dom Toretto” had NOS canisters supplementing his legs. Word Around the Oval: JLM lives fast and furiously, and that he runs a 40-yard dash at a blinding sub 4.3-second clip.

0:24

TOUCHDOWN! JERRY TOUCHDOWN!

0:26 – 0:30

Bear Hugs, all around.

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0:31

Grizzlies 16, Northern Iowa 7. A legend is born. Here is the video one more time for good measure…

(Thanks to @Peevey93 and @ztrainmint for the splendid list of aliases for Jerry Louie-McGee)

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Jasper Moonshot



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